When Loving You is Right

Say you love me, and I’ll release 100 doves from my window in your honor.

Say you love me, and I’ll buy you a dark chocolate Dove and fan you while you eat it.

Promise me you won’t croon for another, and I’ll write you a poem…buy you a beer.

If you don’t dream of dancing with Denzel and tell me with glee, I’ll buy that red dress and we’ll dance all night.

I won’t give you that Let’s be Friends excuse if I can brag about your booty. If I can brag about your tight buns and chiseled chest.

If you’ll go cruising with me in my Classic Thunderbird, I’ll run with you through woods at night, or if you go to Wrestle Mania with me, I’ll teach you to swim.

I’ll skip band practice if you’ll watch an action movie with me. I know you don’t like violent movies but we’d be together.

If you’ll hike with me in the Himalayas, I’ll take you to the Bahamas on vacation.

If you’ll spend the night with me, I’ll make breakfast for you. But you must promise not criticize my cooking.

If you’ll love me, I’ll love you back. Requited love is the ultimate ride through life.

What’s The Woman Card?

Being a woman is The Woman Card. He or She who does not know their history is likely to make a foolish comment, sticking foot in a lead boot.

What being a woman means has a long list of lingering business.

  1. When speaking about women’s lives, we don’t need to focus on women’s issues. Do we? Women and men are treated equally? Right? The gender gap is a myth. OK? Aren’t women and men treated equally? For real? Aren’t women given equal rights under the Constitution? Oh, well, the answer is “no” all day long.
  2. Every 90 seconds a woman dies during pregnancy or childbirth.
  3. Forty percent of U. S. births are born to unmarried women, but we don’t need planned parenthood.Right?
  4. Instead of chest pains, heart attacks in women have nausea, indigestion and shoulder aches. Heart disease is the No. 1 killer of women out of 22 others including Breast Cancer.
  5. One in every six women has been the victim of sexual assault in the U.S.
  6. Women earn 77 cent of a dollar of men’s salaries.
  7. Every 13 minutes a woman dies from breast cancer in the U.S.
  8. One in five women are sexual assaulted before age 15.
  9. Depression is the No. 1 cause of disability in women.
  10. Of the 154.7 million women in the nation, 83 million are mothers.

Sources: Karen J. Carlson, Terra Ziporyn, and Stephanie Eisenstat, 2004, The New Harvard Guide to Women Health.

Ellen Debois and Lynn Dumenil, Through Women’s Eyes: An American History with Documents, 2005, Cranbury, N.J., Bedford, St. Martins.

Oxford English Dictionary 2nd edition, 20 Vols, 1989, Oxford University Press.

Sarah B. Pomeroy, Women’s Health and Ancient History, Chapel Hill,N.C., University of North Carolina 1991.

Michael Reilly, Girls Born in the Tropics Accessed, April 15, 2009.

United Nations State Division, States and Indications on women and Men, 2006.

U.S. Census Bureau, Women’s History Month, 2009, assessed.